I was brought up to think that some sins were worse than others. For example, murder was one of the greastest sins. But more relating to the Christian life, sex before marraige was the worst sin you could commit. That being said, I concluded that I wanted a husband who kept himself physically pure for me...as I, too, am staying physically pure for him. Further, if I fell inlove and found out he wasnt a virgin, I wouldnt marry him.
Just like the prodigal son story; why should I forgive someone when I've been out in the field working for the Lord while theyre off wasting their life and totally going against the Lord? Not untill this week was I enlightened on this matter.
Its one thing to tell yourself you will forgive someone, but to actually do it is harder. My brother was telling me that peoples past dont matter anymore as long as theyve accepted forgiveness from Christ. The only thing that matters is how far theyve come in their relationship with Christ. Then I asked him the question, "Would you be able to forgive your wife if she wasnt a virgin?" Pausing, clearly lost in a moment of sorrow, he turned to me and responded "...I dont know if I actually could."
Last night God clearly spoke to me and said that He doesnt care about the sin...He already took care of it on the cross. He cares about the separation. When the prodigal son returned, his father was over-joyed and threw him a massive celebration. Why? Because his son was home. His son was done wasting his life and partaking in sin. Back to my brothers comment, we shouldnt judge people by their past decisions, rather we should see the Christ in them now.
Sin is not weighed differently...believe it or not. The Bible states "for the wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23). It doesnt say "for the wages of (this specific sin) is death." It says SIN...which includes every sin.
When the time comes for me to look my husband in the eyes and tell him everything Ive done, I will confidently be able to tell him that I have never held hands with another guy, kissed a guy, and that I saved myself all for him. However, God reminded me that my other sin is equally as bad. Yes, I didnt give in to physical temptations, but emotionally? Thats a different story. Again, the Bible addresses this, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman [or man] lustfully has already committed adultery with her [him] in his [her] heart" (Matthew 5:28).
My biggest prayer is that I would be able to forgive not only my future husbands sins but also that I would be able to forgive my friends sins, or a strangers sin.
Once again, when God spoke to me the other night, a miracle happened. God performed a miracle in my heart. After years of not being able to forgive (a certain person), I felt my entire being and my heart completely and fully forgive this person. Its the greatest feeling in the world when you experience total forgiveness...of which I hope I can have with everyone in my life.
